Sunday, July 24, 2011

Thought patterns tripping me up

So that basic butterfly sweep I was having issues with. I was just cleaning out my email and found a GrappleArts Newsletter devoted to that very topic. Yays:) Turns out I was getting stalled (and frustrated) during the hip switch because it just felt insanely difficult. I drilled it a few times in class and decided I wasn't strong enough and needed to go home and work on some shoulder bridging to get stronger.

It just hit me though, that considering how long I've been doing this, my build and the principles behind the art, "not strong enough" is seldom going to be the issue. (The actual issue was, as it turns out, that I was trying to brace all my weight on my head/shoulder and not putting any on my inside leg).

There are still all these weird little bits of insecurities I have left over from when I first started. These are the big ones I've noticed (and why I logically know they're not true).

  • I'm not strong enough-I've always been strong enough for pretty much anything. I used to have big issues handling my bodyweight, but FlowFit has helped with that a lot. 
  • I'm not coordinated enough-straight up not true. I've always had above-average coordination. If I'm doign something wrong, it's because I don't understand the theory behind the move.
  • I'm not smart enough-again...just not true. I used to theorize that the kind of "smart" I am wasn't the kind of "smart" I needed to be for BJJ and that I was just doomed to suffer or quit. I'm not exactly a kinetic genius, but I've got enough body awareness to learn and execute what I need to. 
  • I'm not flexible enough-Even with my tight groin and hamstrings, I'm still more flexible than most guys that train. 
What I've noticed is usually going on is that...
  • I don't understand the theory-big deal for me. Huge deal for me. 
  • I'm not being aggressive enough-I underestimate how much momentum plays a part is certain technical elements. 
  • I'm trying not to hurt a smaller partner. I'm much less concerned and more open to learning with a larger partner. 
I can't really hold them against myself. I'm working against a couple of decades of ignorance of physical activity. What I can do though, is be aware of them when they crop up and learn how to work past them. 


Georgette said...

It's funny but when I think about it, I have the same hangups as you... especially #1 and 2. #3 is true for me too, though less from a size perspective-- it's more like I don't want to be the spazzy whitebelt/bluebelt who hurts someone. The fear of being a spaz curtails my ability to combat #2, because I don't hardly ever put enough "umph" into it.... Good post!

Megan said...

It's good and scary to hear someone farther down the path that has the same problem. I think they're going to be with me for a while...maybe forever.

#3 especially, I'm always trying to overcome. Last time I was working butterfly sweeps, I told myself I was going to be more aggressive so I could get a feel for the move as a whole. First time out of the blocks I scoot in to get the underhook and the white belt I was working with lets out a "Holy s!@#$!". I dialed back after that.

Constant ebb and flow.