Wednesday, December 8, 2010

I need a BJJ hug.

A big one too. 

I realized tonight that comment last night that I thought I misinterpreted? Probably wasn't even about me. Too funny. Bruised ego for nothin'.

Tonight was odd. Class was relatively empty and I ended up rolling with the tiny girl who once said I scared her. Some good time working on half-guard escapes and guard passing. I still don't know how to best make use of time working with significantly smaller people, at least not when they're less experienced. After her, I rolled with a white belt and decided to take the opportunity to try out a knee on belly escape I'd learned from the GrappleArts app. It requires you to get your whole arm between you and the hooked foot and I couldn't even get a hand in. Ended up succumbing to an armbar as a result of not watching my other arm closely enough. It was worth it.

Tonight was cool. Parrumpha's very first student came back to test for his brown belt. A snuggly time was head by all. Watching all the submissions and sweeps and passes...educational, inspiring and disheartening. I think any other night, it would have just been the first two, but tonight, seeing it all made me think, for the first time, "there's no way I can do that". I'm finding that I'm having a hard time focusing in class lately. Be it work, the weather, or just a normal slump. I feel icky and skill-less and like a charity case. And as horrible as that all sounds, it's really not permeating very deeply. I know the thought is there and I have to deal with it.


SavageKitsune said...

{{{{{{Megan}}}}}}} <-- That is a BJJ hug!

Deborah Clem said...

Many hugs your way. Someone said you scared her??? What the...???

AND, yes, you CAN do those things and you WILL do those things, make no mistake. And you will do them on people bigger and stronger than you, one day. Trust the power of technique.

Liam H Wandi said...

Well I couldn't resist a request like that!

You'll have to excuse the goofy face though :o)

Ashley said...

You will persevere. 'nuff said!

A.D. McClish said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA Liam, you crack me up.

Megan, lots of love your way. I've felt that way before. Tuesday in fact. ;) You are doing better than you think. I promise. Just keep pushing through and one day you'll be the one testing for brown.

Megan said...


@Dagney...Yeah...she's a foot shorter and 90lbs lighter, so I offer lots of potential for squashing.

@PTG...You...seriously...made my day. I screamed laughing and got weird looks from coworkers. Thanks:)

@Ashley...Thanks! I'm ready to get back out there tomorrow:)

@A.D...thanks so much. I seriously think back to a lot of your posts for inspiration to get through these spots. It's a HUGE help knowing someone else has been there before.

The_Lazy_Man's_Guide_to_Grappling said...

I understand your angst. I recently had some fellow blue belts and a brown at another gym make me feel like a newbie. They all caught me in the same arm-bar about six times. Since I have been grappling since 2004 I was stymied (this can't be happening to me).

I was demoralized until I figured out that I made the same basic mistake over and over again and that just like in other grappling situations if I keep going I will thrive again.