My BJJ ego is so fragile...

...but it's getting better. The lows are getting higher. Today I heard an instructor talking about me say to someone, "Yeah, she's a fighter, and that's what matters". My head translated that to "her technique is bad and she's not that good an athlete, but we keep her around because she's nice and tries hard."

What PROBABLY happened, is the new purple I had just sparred with commented that I was tough/strong (which is what about every guy I've sparred with says after the first time we roll) and he responded. Funny how logic goes right out the window when you're not feeling confident. 

Tonight was so fun! We worked on a sweep from half guard that was similar to something I'd covered in a private. Oh oh...my lungs are finally recovering from my sinus infection and I'm back to working on duck walking and stretching at work. But yeah...the sweep. Managed to pull a variation of it off while rolling (Wuzzup was nice and let me work relatively slowly). Good lessons learned with him though. I went in tonight telling myself I HAD to start opening my full guard and attempting more sweeps. I started an omoplata sweep Cuban Blue had shown me, and for whatever reason, instead of doing it the way he showed me, I tried to improvise it...failed...adjusted...failed again...adjusted again...failed one last time. On a smaller person, it would have worked. More technique is needed.

I really have to give the guys some props. One of the kids was running around telling a racist joke and they didn't even chuckle. They immediately called him on it.