Monday, February 14, 2011

"She's a green belt...she can defeat ANYBODY!!"

I was drilling with FireFighter Lady when her daughter walked by and shouted that from the other side of the cage. My first thought was "You OBVIOUSLY were too busy doing homework to watch me roll." She's a funny kid.

It was a funny night of comments...from "Look at your pretty green nails!" to "I can't roll with you like a lady anymore..." to "You're NOT competing?"

All this talk of NAGA and GrapplersQuest has me considering the competition deal once again. Nothing soon, but just down the road one day. I'm still looking at this BJJ thing from more of an artistic/self defense point of view to be honest and I still don't trust myself to keep reasonable perspective on training for a competition.

The mat was split into sides of those competing and those not. PrettyVoicedInstructor saw me go over to the side of the room that wasn't and with a look of surprise and furrowed brow mouthed "You're not competing?". I looked surprised right back and mouthed "nooo..." Even the idea of me competing seems funny...yes, because I still feel quite incapable, though I know that has little to do with it. I think it's because I feel like the last person in the gym they'd want wearing the school patch at tournament. Maybe that's not entirely true.

6 comments:

Georgette said...

Don't think of it as competing to win (irony I know)-- it's just a great way to crystallize what you do know and what you don't (and usually you'll be a little surprised by both). Also do NOT wait to compete until you feel "ready" as you'll usually be way more disappointed in how you do THEN. Just get out there and do it. No one really gives a flip how you do but yourself. Yeah, your instructors and teammates "care" but not really. No one will be disappointed in you or think poorly of you. Just do it :)

Megan said...

Yeah...it's funny, but I'm more concerned about the preparation than the competition. I've performed before and I'm imagining it's similar to that. Not sure I'd handle the pressure too well right now.

The Part Time Grappler said...

It can be a bit a of shock how little people care about the result :o) but also a bit of a relief. No one will love you more when you win and no one will love you less when you lose ;)

I wrote about something not too dissimilar over a year ago http://parttimegrappler.blogspot.com/2009/11/nobody-cares-about-your-training.html

Megan said...

Hi Liam!!

I remember reading this when you first put it up. I have to say, my friends and family have seen me try and fail and succeed enough to the point where even if I went to a competition and fell flat on my face, I know they'd still be proud of me.

My concern is my relationship with BJJ as a whole. I tend to choose rather intense interests, and things are stressful at work right now, so I wanted to do something "light". I know...BJJ is far from light, but for me, it's challenging without me putting too many (not no) performance expectations on myself. The last thing I want is to compete and have BJJ turn into something that weighs on me. It's not a definite, but it's a definite possibility.

A.D. McClish said...

I can completely understand where you are coming from, Megan. I have the same tendencies. BJJ is supposed to be fun. And a stress relief. Somehow, I always manage to turn my fun into a pressure cooker. But at the same time, even though I still obsess and stress over tournaments, each one gets a little easier.

I would say don't feel pressure to compete. If you want to try it, do it. But you shouldn't do it out of obligation, in my opinion. Wait until you WANT to. Then it will be fun. :)

Megan said...

That's it exactly Allie...the transformation of play ground into pressure cooker. I think maybe one day I'll do a submission only tournament, but for now, there are too many other things to iron out.